Rorys ramblings
The End of Days….Arsenal win the Premier League. Whatever next? Hull City winning promotion?
Well the heat was turned up both literally and figuratively in the “friendship” game where people play nicely, don’t kick each other, and don’t argue with the referee….well apart from one person, and you know who you are.
It was another colossal battle between the reds and the blacks. The latter looked a slightly stronger team, but when has that ever made a difference in a high paced full-on game of biff ball, where the people who get the most exercise are the gallant ball-boys who are sent to the farthest reaches of the Poli to fetch the all too frequent wayward shots from the geriatric soccer ballers.
Anyway, let’s get down to business. Terry was captaining the reds and refereeing the match, testing his multitasking skills to the limit. The reds had the most prolific goalscoring duo in walking football, Ton and Ken who have an almost telepathic relationship enabling them to weave their goalscoring magic. Tom was playing in the hole, but at six foot eight (2.07m), the sides only came up to his waist. The reds were full of goals, with Ian entering the game on the back of a good run of goal scoring, something I never thought I’d ever see in writing.
Terry and Dave the owl formed a creative midfield, and Pete the Fish was solid as ever at the back. Sonic was given a licence to roam, but thankfully a couple of the guys managed to find him halfway up the mountain and bring him back to the game.
Meanwhile the blacks had our Keef and Rory in the engine room, ensuring that the team was firing on all cylinders. Bambi was the lone striker with Graham playing in the number 10 role…don’t ask me what that is, there’s just been a lot of talk about it recently. Anyway, prop forward Geoff played libero. Klaus played “chopper” Harris, and Dave the rabbit started in goal.
The blacks dominated the early possession but it was Dave the rabbit who was forced into making a couple of early saves, as the reds successfully beat the blacks high press. The deadlock was broken when Sonic brilliantly lost his marker and sprinted into space before belting it past the rabbit in the headlights. Reds 1-0 Blacks.
With Dave out of goal, the blacks pressed hard for an equaliser. However, during the water break, unbeknown to the others, Ian was kidnapped by Aliens and replaced by an AI robot, capable of controlling the ball and scoring goals. Sure enough the replicant Ian worked some space on the right trapped a through ball brilliantly with his right foot and fired it into the corner of the net. What a strike! Reds 2-0 Blacks
The blacks team of talented ball jugglers just couldn’t get their act together, and with replicant Ian causing mayhem down the right wing, they were struggling to keep the rampant reds at bay. To make matters worse Klaus had a sudden loss of spatial awareness at a corner and blundered into his own penalty area to concede an unnecessary penalty. Cometh the moment, cometh the man. Up stepped Ton to take the pressure kick against Geoff in the blacks goal. Ton took one long step backwards and disappeared briefly down to Fuengirola. When he reappeared he belted the ball at 100mph at the head of octogenarian in goal. Geoff almost pulled off the save of the season, but decided to save his own life instead, and deflected the ball into the top corner. Reds 3-0 Blacks
The second half brought a resurgence for the blacks but this was thwarted by Ton, who had miraculously transformed himself into Edwin van der Sar. The big man pulled off a series of excellent saves to maintain the reds’ three goal lead. As replicant Ian’s internal circuit board started to overheat, the blacks managed to claw their way back into the game. Firstly Klaus had ventured forward in an effort to redeem himself an popped up on the edge of the box to bunt the ball into the goal from the edge of the box. Reds 3-1 Blacks
The blacks were starting to get a whiff of the game as our Keef started to get more of the ball and replicant Ian’s circuit board melted down and began to stream black smoke from his left ear. Bambi finally hit the target with a great strike to make the score Reds 3-2 Blacks. Game on!!
Our Keef then laid on a lovely ball for Rory to strike the equaliser. What a brilliant comeback Reds 3-3 Blacks.
Their hopes were quickly dashed when Geoff booted the ball onto the outstretched foot of Pete the fish on the edge of the box. While there was a brief moment of controversy over whether the fish’s dorsal fin was in the box, this was quickly resolved by Frank in the VAR centre, where his video clearly showed that both of fish’s fins were well outside of the penalty area. The goal stands! Reds 4-3 Blacks.
The blacks weren’t out of it and could sense blood as they pressed forward for the equaliser. Unfortunately they left deadly Ken on his own up front. When the ball was booted up to him the mercurial front man only needed one touch to brilliantly flick the ball past the advancing Geoff to secure the well deserved victory.
Final score Reds 5-3 Blacks.
Well played lads. And thanks to Terry for refereeing the game and being the brunt of Bambi’s ire. Oh by the way, Ian was safely returned to earth and the burnt out replicant consigned to the scrap heap.
Colins‘ Comments
Monday morning was another warm one, its only going to get warmer lads!
8 aside game 2 reffed by Dave 🦊 who had minimal involvement, well done Dave 👍
New boy Simon returned for another game glad that his legs were up to the task
As is the norm a proper game of walking football breaks out with little passes and keeping control of the ball as much as possible with minimal rule breaking.
The no contact rule crashed and burned when Alvin and Colin got in a tangle and both tumbled to the ground in a splay of legs and arms, but no harm done and not even a foul.
Scoring opened when a free kick was tapped to Dave 🚖 who pinged the ball past reds keeper
1-0 Blacks
Its probably fair to say that Blacks had the slightly better team with 🚖 and Darren who both have confidence on the ball, Jim leading the line up front, Johnny and Daz hugging the wings, Colin in defence and Alan linking midfield and defence, with gobby Steve in goal😉
Reds to be fair had the skilful Maj, tenacious Alvin, solid Martin and dependable Prak alongside the long legged Glyn, with Tommy marshaling his team from the back alongside Paul with Simon working the midfield.
But it was blacks who were able to carve out the chances with Jim scoring a brace, the second coming after he was being berated for being too slow 😅
Steve decided he wanted to be in the thick of things so handed the gloves to Daz, who in turn handed them to Cornwalls very own Darren being watched by you son Jack who during warm-up seemed to be one of a few who was able to hit the target warming Steve up in goal.
Back out on the pitch Daz scored a screamer receiving applause from game 1
4-0 Blacks, Darren in goal, young son full of adoration watching on…………
….reds break, ball is slipped to long legged Glynn, he hits the ball goalward, Darren dives, the ball squirms under him, but he’s taken the pace off, he rolls on his back turns towards the goal line and watches the ball trickle into the net.
To be fair to Darren he did pull of a couple of good saves thereafter but it ended 4-1 blacks and we retired to the bar, where young Jack witnessed a bunch of old blokes working on their skills…………..drinking skills, whilst Steve hoovered up all the fries in his reach.